What Makes a Boy a Man?


It can be very confusing to a boy growing up trying to figure out what makes a boy a man.  Most boys can’t wait.  They want to be men.

He can’t wait till he is taller, his muscles bigger, his voice deeper, and whiskers grow on his face.  That is normal. 

But if a a boy watches his world he may as well conclude that he will be a man (or speed up the process) if and when he does a combination of the following:

He smokes cigarettes
He builds bigger muscles
He makes a lot of money
He looks at pornography
He has sex with someone
He drives and has his own car
He is able to beat others in a sport
He has a powerful position or job
He can ‘hold his own’ while drinking more than the next guy
He can swear better than the next guy
He can fight the other guy into submission
He can lash out in anger and hit a woman
He has a big house, nice car, nice clothes etc.
He is ‘free’ to do what he wants, when he wants, with whomever and whatever he wants.

Many boys spend their whole life trying to prove their manhood in those ways.

These things give one the appearance of being a man.
But it is a deception…a very sad one.
They only cover up what is lacking. 

Becoming a man, a real man, is a process of spiritual and emotional growth, not just physical growth.  There is a difference between having a grown body and being a mature man.

It has nothing to do with age.
One can be a man at 12 or 72.

Becoming a man isn’t accomplished by drinking, smoking, drugging, sexing, robbing, buying, hitting, swearing, abusing and using.

Being a man has to do with one’s heart…his character.
Is he kind?
Is he honest?
Is he trustworthy?
Is he humble or arrogant?
Is he patient?
Is he tolerant?
Is he un-selfish?
Is he helpful?
Is he a worker?
Is he conscientious of what he does?
Is he respectful?
Is he faithful?
Is he a servant?
Is he understanding?
Is he compassionate?
Is he encouraging?
Is he positive?
Is he considerate?
Is he free to do what he ‘should’ not just what he can or wants?
Is he in control or controlled?
Is he a man of integrity?

Is he courageous enough
to do the right
to say the right
to defend the right
to pursue the right
to reject what is wrong
to defend and help the weak and needy
to protect the innocent

Being all these has nothing to do with:
The size of one’s muscles,
If he is good looking or not,
If he drives a nice car fast,
If he is rich or intelligent,
If he is violent or powerful.     
If he smokes, drinks, swears, abuses, etc.

If a boy spent a whole day swearing, smoking, consuming, drinking, buying, hitting, looking at pornography, stealing, hurting, having sex, abusing, and yelling, the following day he would still be just a boy (with new problems).  Doing those things wouldn’t make him a man.  The same is true for someone who is 29, 35, 55, or 70.

Maybe a ‘boy man’ (a boy with a man’s body) can
out drink,
out swear,
out spend,
out yell,
out hit,
out sex,
and out muscle
      a Real Man.

But in the end he will still be an immature boy in a man’s body.
Sadly he will never know the joy and satisfaction of being a MAN.